One of the most difficult aspects of a divorce, can be finding forgiveness and moving on. Holding onto resentment can lead to poor decision making, delaying your ability to get back out there, and cause you a lot of stress. So, it’s important that you find some means of getting over it, and getting back out there. Everyone does this in their own time, so now is the time to begin working towards your peace and forgiveness.
Finding Forgiveness and Moving On: Making Peace After Separation
You have to first figure out what forgiveness means for you. What’s holding you back? What can’t you seem to shake? What do you need to make peace with? You have to answer these questions before you can begin finding forgiveness. You want to move on with your life, move forward, and maybe find someone who makes you happy again. So, this is step number one. So many people rush into dating as a means of getting over the hump. However, you’ll likely be unsuccessful in making a connection until you can lay your divorce to rest.
Become aware of those feelings
Ask yourself the questions we laid out up top. What’s hurting you? What makes you angry? What feelings and instances can’t you let go? Make a list, make yourself aware of those feelings and find some means of facilitating the process. Whether it be a great friend, or a therapist. A divorce is extremely hard, there’s no shame in asking for help.
Find means of easing those pains
Whether you need to write letters, confront someone, or do something out of the ordinary— like getting a tattoo to declare your freedom. The key here is finding things that heal those wounds inside of you. Take back what you feel like you lost, in a way that is uniquely you and therapeutic.
Take responsibility
It’s time that you take control, and responsibility, for your role in the separation. You have to learn what you did wrong, to make sense of it all sometimes. You have to think objectively, find your understanding of what you did and how you want to make changes in the future. You’re in a time of re-vamping, reclaiming, and re-establishing yourself. So, make positive changes where you need them!
Be understanding and practice letting go
As you work through those hard times, and understanding your role, try and take it from the other side. So, put your feet into your ex-spouse’s shoes and try to gain more awareness. Letting go mostly means finding a means of coping with your pain and growing from it. So, do that by gaining a better understanding. This is a great thing to work into your daily life. Be kind, be objective, and let go of the little things. Whether that’s traffic, moldy fruit, loud neighbors, whatever it may be. Finally, this is the time for being patient, understanding, and forgiving is now more than ever.