It is not uncommon following a divorce for one parent to be further out of the picture. Whether that parent makes a big move, or travels often for work or pleasure— it is very frequent that one is not quite as ‘present’ in the child’s life as the other. The main problem many parents run into when they begin long-distance parenting is finding ways to stay connected and involved. From discipline, extracurricular activities, and staying close with the child— the way in which you choose to stay engaged can help that relationship to remain healthy and intact.
Long-Distance Parenting: Staying Involved from Afar
Keep your child involved in your day to day
Send pictures, send postcards, send messages— keep your child up to date on where you are and what’s going on. Maybe even make a map and mark off places you go. The point is, there are plenty of ways to make the distance a little bit more exciting. Chances are, they’re missing you and they want to know what’s going on in your life. Your relationship is a bit different now, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Stay involved in your child’s day to day and discipline
On the flip side of above, you have to also keep involving yourself in the day to day changes that come along with your child. If they are an adolescent versus a small child, you have the ability to text, video chat, and the likes. But with a smaller child, you have to stay connected with the other parent. Find out their extracurricular activities, if they got in trouble, etc. Knowing and being involved in these aspects is still important from afar, specifically discipline. One issue many run into with long-distance parenting is their lack of influence over discipline. This makes it difficult for the parent to step back into that role when they return if they are not involved regularly.
Make your alone time specifically for you
You might have a significant other at this point, and that’s great! But when you’re only seeing your child once a month, filling that time with other people and other relationships can take away from the quality of your time. This time is something your child is looking forward to, their time just with you. It is not fair to the child to be stuck between you and a stranger during their only time with you for a while. Your child is excited, and I’m sure you are too— make the time you have quality time. Make it something special for the two of you, and something to look forward to.