If you discover that your spouse has cheated, you’re probably thinking about where to go from here. Do you save the marriage? Do you separate? And, do you tell the kids? Deciding what route to take when it comes to the kids can be tough. You want to be honest with them, and if you weren’t the one cheating— you probably are angry and want to retaliate in some form or fashion. But what’s the best route to take when your spouse has cheated and you have children?
My Spouse Cheated: Do I Tell the Kids?
You’re angry right now, and probably not thinking straight. So no matter what you decide to do, now isn’t the time to do it. You have to first decide what will become of you and your spouse. Are you going to try and make it work? See a counselor? Or, are you ready to call it quits? No matter what route you choose, the children are often at the center of the decision.
If you decide to try and make it work…
Then you are left to decide what you’re children should now about their parents. Every set of parents have some things they keep from their children. No matter what it is, there are some things that remain sacred to parents. But is an affair one of them? It is a defining point in your marriage, one that could potentially end it. But, do you subject your children to that kind of information about their parent?
If you decide to call it quits…
Then it might be a bit difficult to not divulge the information. When you separate, there are a ton of questions. What did I do wrong? What happened? Are you not in love? While these are tough questions to answer, they are even tougher if the answer is that of an affair. You, as parents, have to once again decide what the children are subject to. If you are separating, their time will be divided between two parents. While you have a soiled image of their other parent— you have to decide whether you want that to affect them as well.
You must make a joint decision
There’s no easy answer when it comes to deciding what route to take. You don’t want to hide things from your children, but you also don’t want to ruin a relationship between parent and child. While the parent did you wrong, and jeopardized the well-being of the family— is it right to ruin two relationships at the same time? That’s up to you to decide.