Going through a divorce is tough business, but it is also personal business. Plenty of people use social media as a way to vent; a way to ‘put it all out there’. For some people, sharing is almost therapeutic. Facebook is a community, after all. But, there are some things that social media just does not need to know. A divorce is tedious, emotional, and what you say— does have a lasting effect. So, we’re here to tell you why social media should not be your podium during a divorce, and why choosing your words wisely can make a big difference when it comes down to it.
Social Media: How Oversharing Can Harm Your Divorce Case
Custody Proceedings
If you have kids, custody proceedings will inevitably become part of the process. But, what you might not realize is those harsh words you posted on Facebook about your “P.O.S. to-be ex-husband” and all the dirty details of your separation ultimately tell the court that you cannot be a collaborative co-parent. A court wants to ensure the well-being of the child. When one parent cannot foster a healthy co-parenting environment, as shown by your nasty Facebook details, the judge might use this as grounds to shift what might have otherwise been a mutually beneficial custody agreement.
Your Children
Depending on the age of your children, they might have access to Facebook. Therefore, they likely could have access to what you’re posting. While this is not only damaging to custody, it is damaging your children. As much as you might dislike your to-be former spouse, they are still a parent to your child. Therefore, respecting them is kind of like respecting your child as well. This divorce is not between you, them, and the other parent. Putting details out there that might sway them too feel one way or the other about their parent is unfair. Remember, this is not their battle to fight. So, if you withhold from posting to social media for any reason one reason— let it be this.
Divorce Proceedings
Oversharing on social media can also harm you when it comes to divorce, especially financially. Say, the other spouse has been living a conservative life, keeping to themselves, and going through the steps. However, the other spouse is taking a girl’s weekend to Vegas, buying a new car, or giving gifts to a new girlfriend. This can show the court that you might be hiding assets, spending mutual funds, and even entertaining a new partner while still married. Any one of these things, or the combination of them, can affect the outcome of a divorce.
You Won’t Feel Better
When you post to Facebook about a separation, you invite every single person in your social circle to develop an opinion about it. Maybe they take your side (which is likely the goal if you’re taking to social media) or maybe, they develop the alternate opinion. Your divorce is your business, and at some point, you will likely wish you had kept it that way. For example, say you decide to work it out with one another and you’ve posted about what a terrible father they are earlier in the year.
The point is, your actions have consequences.
Maybe they’re legal, financial, or they result in the loss of child custody. So, before you post, I encourage you to consider what might come of those posts if they fall into any certain set of hands. We wish you luck with your divorce, and encourage you to find someone you can talk to. But, we also encourage you to find that on a more personal level than social media.