If you are considering an affair, chances are there is a specific fantasy in your head. One of seduction, excitement, and secret lust. But what you might not be considering is the reality of the scenario. The what comes after, and the ‘where do we go from here’. Engaging in an affair might seem like a scene out of a movie on the outside but, from the inside, for the person inside of a marriage— there are plenty more implications.
Fantasy versus Reality of an Affair
Jeopardizing a marriage in exchange for some wild fun or passion might not seem like what you’re doing. You might feel completely justified in what you’re doing. Whether it begins as ‘an accident’, when you’re angry at your spouse, or because you feel noticed for the first time in a while— it can be easy to fall into a pattern of deceit and adultery against your spouse. Maybe you aren’t even thinking that far into it following the initial act, but it will all become very real when you walk back into your home for the first time…
The moment might be great, but aftermath is always messy
When you walk into your home for the first time following an affair, that is when it becomes real. you see your life in front of you— your home, your children, your wife, what you’ve built together, and then you’re left to decide where it all goes from here. Do you tell your wife? Do you continue your affair? What changes here? All of these questions are running through your head as you pretend that nothing has changed.
Aside from the family side of things, where do you go with this person you’ve become intimate with? Most people who cheat will cheat with a friend or a coworker— someone familiar. Therefore, you are left seeing them either on occasion or every day. This can increase your willingness to do it again, or reinforce the fact that you have to come clean. Either way, the affair does not necessarily end when you stop being intimate. But rather, when the whole ordeal is out in the open.
You have to give your spouse the chance to make a decision
The time will come when you have to come clean, whether for your own conscience sake or for the sake of trying to make amends. And where you go from there, is ultimately up to the person who has been cheated on. it is up to whether they want to make an effort, whether they can form trust with you again, and if they can still love you after what you’ve done to them.
While an affair might seem like something out of the movies, you often miss out on the true effects.
Forget what you’ve seen in the movies. That of psychotic seductresses and lusty affairs that end in a giant ‘fight to the death for your man’ blow out. Yeah, we’ve all seen the movies. No, an affair is messy. It often ends in a nasty fashion, and the true effects it has on a family are deafening. If you decide to have an affair, no one can stop you. But you must analyze the difference between a fantasy versus reality when it comes to an affair before you march on.