The time of year is approaching. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year. For most, this is an exciting time of year. Filled with family, cheer, good food, and good laughs. But, for newly divorced families, you’re kind of in uncharted territory. It’s all part of it. So, we want to help you as you begin navigating holidays, and new tradition, so that you can devise a plan that will act in the best interest of your family, and your child.
Navigating Holidays as a Newly Divorced Family
First things first, you’ll need to pick a method
Decide how you’re going to go about celebrating those holidays. Will Mom have the child on Christmas Eve? Or will Dad? Who will host Thanksgiving dinner? And what days belong to who? These are the kinds of questions you will need to answer mutually. If the child is old enough to decide on their own, allow them to be part of the decision. After all, they are the most affected by these choices being made. Making those decisions such as: dinner at Mom’s, presents at Grandma’s, or even hosting together— these are great ways to begin exploring the world of co-parenting.
Plan these big decisions ahead of time
All of these decisions to be made should be made long before the holidays themselves. By doing it far in advance, or even creating a ritual that will be observed every year, they will be set in stone and easier to abide by. Obviously there is always room for flexibility if need be, but at least you know what to expect and are not left making gut decisions the day before. This can cause a huge amount of unnecessary stress.
Create new traditions during these new beginnings
Starting a new tradition as this new chapter begins can be therapeutic and help a child to get into the groove of things. Think pajamas and Christmas movies at Mom’s House on Christmas Eve. Or cookies and wrapping presents at Dad’s house. The ways in which to create new traditions are endless, and it will help each part of the family to have something special entirely for them.
Don’t overcompensate
Do not feel the need to go overboard because of the divorce you’ve been going through. Your child is intuitive, and introducing twenty new presents into the mix than usual is not going to help in any way. Don’t use this as a way to compete with the other parent, instead, coordinate. Show unity between parents by honoring each other’s wishes and keeping it moderate and usual. Maybe Moms buys a Leggo set that matches a movie Dad got for the child. Use these small tactics to help your child stay equally as connected to each parent.
Understand and expect that things will be different
There’s no sugarcoating the hard stuff. Especially when it comes to most family’s meaning of the holidays. So embrace these new traditions as best as you can, and create your own rituals as well. Navigating holidays and tradition over again as an adult can be trying, but every family will have their own way. This is a time to honor your child’s needs but also your own. We wish you a happy holiday, and the absolute best in these new times.