It is not uncommon in todays day and age, that one part of an engaged couple will request a prenuptial agreement. Gone are the days when a prenup was something reservable to the great and powerful. Especially when you get married later in life, you each have different assets that you want to protect. No one wants to think ‘what if this goes South?’ right after an engagement, or even when things are just going well. But if you plan to ask for a prenuptial agreement, you should make a plan. The good news? We’ve made one for you!
Asking for a Prenuptial Agreement: How to Keep the Peace and Protect Your Assets
If you plan to draft a prenup, bring it up early
Don’t wait until months or weeks before the wedding. Definitely don’t wait until the day of the wedding— we’re begging you. If a prenup has always been part of your marriage plan, and you know you’re serious with someone— offer this information up early. It might feel uncomfortable at the time. But if you can properly explain why you want to take this route— it can just be a logical situation.
You know you want to have this squared away before you marry, but maybe this other person isn’t comfortable. In this case, it’s better you both know early. I’ve heard of people bringing this up on a third date, or in the third year. No matter your route, make sure you can explain why it is that you think this is logical.
Explain the importance of this decision
Maybe you own a business, a home, and a nice car that you’ve worked hard for. Maybe she has a solid nest egg, an inheritance, or a business of her own. You both have things that belong entirely to you, and it’s okay to want to protect those things in case the marriage goes South. No one anticipates a divorce— you don’t marry someone thinking: “this is gonna be a great four years,” but, you never know.
If you are building something together, that’s one thing and it should be split accordingly, in the event of a divorce. But if you have both built something that is entirely your own— you don’t want to have to fight for the marriage, and for your business too if it comes down to it. You will all have your own reasons for wanting a prenuptial agreement. But if you do, explaining to your to-be spouse why it’s important, is part of the process.
Draft the agreement together
Don’t try to trick your spouse into signing something that could give them the short end of the stick, avoid the trickery. In the case of drafting a prenup, you should do so together. This isn’t about your parents and their wishes, this is about the two of you— protecting the potentials of your future. Make sure you are crafting an agreement that is satisfiable to you both, and protects the individual assets. A prenuptial agreement is about safeguarding both sides— not just the more fortuitous one.
Sign it, forget about it, and enjoy being married!
This agreement is obviously a worst case scenario. Knock it out, come to a solid agreement, and tuck it away. Don’t dwell on it, or be angry at your spouse for suggesting it. Wanting to protect what’s yours its nothing to be ashamed of, and you should feel the same way. It’s part of the process for some, and it doesn’t have to be taboo. Once you’ve finished it, be done with it! You’ve got a wedding to plan, and a beautiful little life to live. Enjoy that, and congratulations!