If you are considering a divorce, there are a few questions you might want to ask yourself. From the ‘are you sure?’ To, ‘have you told your spouse?’ To the not so easy ones. Obviously any goal for a divorcing couple is to find peace. Whether that is together or apart. So, we’re going to try and help you decipher your feelings. That way, you can decide if divorce is the right move for you and your spouse.
Questions for Divorcing Couples: Making Sure You’re Sure
Have I given it My Best Shot?
While this one might seem obvious, usually, it isn’t. Maybe you and your spouse have been on the rocks lately. You aren’t sure that this marriage is right for you anymore, but have you made the effort? Have you planned date nights? Or, sat and had a long talk about a potential divorce? These things are personal, and you might not want to lay it all out there. But doing so, gives both of you a more clear idea of what needs to happen in the long run.
Do I Want A Separation Or A Better Marriage With My Spouse?
It’s easy to muddle these two up. You’ve have frustration, you’re unsure, and unhappy with how things are going. Most couples consider divorce from time to time when they’re dealing with uncharted frustration, or it doesn’t seem like what’s at hand can be worked out. But it all depends on how much effort and love the both of you are willing to put in. Recovering from this is not a one way street, but if you both want it— it’s never off the table.
Are You Willing To See A Therapist?
For anyone that rolled their eyes: therapists are not all hokey. You have to find someone who can help the both of you, and not just someone you saw online. You are asking, and paying, a person to dive deep into your marriage and give their advice for making it work. That’s not a task to be delivered lightly, and you have to be truly comfortable to do so. Find what works for the two of you, but don’t write off a therapist because you don’t think they’ll understand. They’re trained to help you through this specific thing. Don’t write them off just yet.
Have You Two Ever Been Through This Much Stress?
A lot of couples consider divorce when life isn’t going right. Financial stressors, the loss of a child, medical issues, or anything that is out of your norm— can test the strength of a relationship. It is not uncommon to ask, “can we handle this?” Everyone does at some point in time. Before you both decide on divorce, you must first decide if this is just uncharted territory. Asking yourself the hard questions before you part ways is an important way to make sure that you’re moving in the right direction.