The first year as a divorcee is undeniably difficult, and exciting. You’re experiencing a ton of new things every day. From becoming a single parent, to living alone, maybe going back to work, and even dating again. There’s no doubt that the first year, comes with a lot of uncharted territory. For this reason, many newly single people can find themselves discourages, and unsure of themselves. We understand that you’re in a new period of your life, and a difficult one at that. So, we’ve come up with a few first year reminders for you. From letting go of old feelings, finding new routines, and diving further into self care— you have a ton of potential, and opportunities, so let’s use them.
First Year Reminders: Divorcee Doubts and Affirmations
You’re not a failure
Your marriage didn’t work out; that just makes you one of the many. So many people go through a divorce, and yet people still feel embarrassed to talk about how they’re feeling. The process of a divorce is already difficult enough without you beating yourself up over it.
Feel it out
You can be happy, sad, angry, questioning, excited, adventurous… This is a strange time in your life, and one that takes some exploring. There’s no shame in taking time to yourself, waiting to date, or dating immediately, getting an apartment, and even getting a new job. You’re figuring it all out, and that looks different for every single person out there. Take time for yourself, for friends, and for self-care.
Your kids will be okay
One of those first year reminders that most parents need is this one: your kids won’t be angry forever. A divorce is hard on everyone involved. But, it’s not going to last forever. Remember that as you adjust to this new way of life, so are your kids. As we’ve said, this period looks different for everyone. The best thing you can do is to keep an open line of communication with your kids. Be honest, be open, and share your emotions with them. The more you open up, and encourage their doing the same— the quicker your relationships will improve and become stronger.
Dating can be fun!!!
Okay, there’s no denying that jumping back into the dating pool can be pretty intimidating. You’ve been out of the game for a while, and you don’t know exactly what it looks like in this day and age. It’s important to remember that everyone has good and bad dates— this is just part of it. However, you’re meeting new people, you’re exploring what you want out of a partner, and you’re having fun.
The good outweighs the bad
This first year is difficult, and it takes time to start feeling good about your path again. You had a major bump in the road, but it’s time to keep driving. You lost a spouse, a friend, and the security of a life you built together. But, you also gained a fresh outlook on life, a new independence, and a chance to start over again.You have the chance to make the most of this time, or wallow on the difficulty. While either choice is understandable, only one will set you up for success.