One of the hardest things to do during the early days of a divorce, is to break the news to your children. The time will inevitably come, and you can’t put it off. But, there are certain ways to go about this business, and tread lightly. Your kids don’t need the dirty details, they just need to be in on the happenings of their life and home. So, we’re going to help you break separation news to your kids smoothly. Every kid is different, so make sure to customize your plan to the individual needs of your own family.
Break Separation News to Kids: Sharing the News Smoothly
The first, and most important step, is making sure that the two of you are certain about this. You don’t want to take the time to tell your kids, rock their world, and then carry on like nothing happened. If you’re telling your kids, you need to be absolutely sure of this impending change.
Make a plan together
After you’ve made a secure decision to move forward, you need to come up with a plan of attack. No matter the fact that you’re separating, you still have children together— which makes you co-parents. Your first act as co-parents will be to make a plan and talk to your children together, in regards to your divorce. Consider outbursts, anger,, and what you will say.
Spare the dirty details
Telling your kids will be shocking, emotional, and require some patience on your end. One of the best ways for you to make this a smooth transition, is to spare the details of your separation. Your kids don’t need to know that Mom is depressed, Dad is broke, or so forth. Why you’re divorcing is mostly between the two of you. By coming up with a general way to say what’s happening, you can avoid giving those dirty details which can sway a child’s opinion of their parents.
Give them time and space
Your kids might have an outburst, be angry, or say things they don’t mean when you break separation news. While disrespect is never the goal, or acceptable, be understanding of their emotions. Be patient, and kind, and don’t bicker with each other over this moment. Your kids need time to process, heal, and adjust to this change. Ask if they have questions, give answers, and encourage communicating through the pain. If they’re doing this, and not shutting down, reward that with age-appropriate honesty.