Gray divorce is common amongst the older population here in America. Many couples will ‘stick it out’ until their children have families of their own, and they feel like the divorce will have a lesser impact on the people around them. However, as grandparents, now you have a new set of tiny people to explain your divorce to. When it comes to divorcing grandparents, it can be difficult for grandchildren to understand— especially when they’re quite young. The fact of the matter is, you’ll have to handle telling them much like you handle telling your own kids.
Divorcing Grandparents: Breaking the News
Start by sharing the news with your own kids. While you might think it’ll go over easy, even adult children of divorce can be affected quite deeply. Be patent with them, and understand that you’ve been a model of marriage for them. While an adverse reaction might not be expected, you should still prepare for one just in case.
Divorcing Grandparents: plan a dialogue with your children for sharing the news
Your grandchildren need to know and understand. But, it’s for their own parents to decide on exactly how to go about sharing the news. So, tell them what you want to say, what you’re planning, and let them filter from there. This is a confusing message for them, and it’s up to their own parents how to make sense of it all.
The same questions arise for your grandchildren as your own children might have had if you’d ended your marriage some time ago. No matter how irrational, there is always the ‘is this my fault’ idea that goes through their heads.
Divorcing Grandparents: everyone will survive
While sharing these plans is always difficult, it’s also completely necessary to your happiness. You’ve put off the inevitable for a long time, at the expense of keeping your family happy and secure. So, now it’s your turn to make yourself happy. You have a chance to start a second chapter of your life at a time when things are finally starting to slow down. Just because you’re parents, and grandparents, does not mean that you have to be selfless at the time. By separating yourself from an unhappy marriage, you give your family a chance to see you in your element. Happy, healthy, and navigating this new chapter.