Divorce tends to be a time of high emotions, and things can turn ugly fast. However, there are those who claim that they and their spouse actually get along better since their split. As it turns out, this result might be a bit more easier than you think…
Happily Divorced: Keep a Healthy Connection
Figure out what you both agree on
Once you and your spouse have made the decision to divorce, you should talk about what you both agree on as shared priorities. For example, if you have children, then you both can agree on keeping their well-being a top priority. You might also both agree on wanting to keep the divorce calm and respectful.
Divorce can be a time of thinking about your differences and why things didn’t work. Instead, if you both figure out what you still agree on, you and your spouse can start to work on getting happily divorced.
Understand divorce isn’t a contest
Divorce isn’t a competition against your spouse. Rather, it’s just a way to let you and your spouse have a chance at being happier as individuals. Trying to always have the last word or being the “right” one will just make it harder to get happily divorced and your spouse will be resentful.
Instead of competing, work on cooperation. Figure out which items you’d be okay with letting your spouse keep. Determine what kind of parenting schedule works best for the both of you. Your spouse will appreciate this and be much more willing to work with you post-divorce.
Think about what you say
One think that sets happily divorced couples apart from others is their consideration for what they say. These couples will take a moment to reflect on what they’re planning on saying to their spouse and how it could impact them. If it may be negative, they take the time to refocus and change what they wanted to say.
This kind of consideration is especially important when talking about important things like your children on money. Make sure to take a moment and reflect on how you’re feeling. If you think your emotions are getting the better of you, take a deep breath and regain your composure. You’ll be more productive speaking from a place of calmness.
Ask others who are happily divorced
A great way to see what tends to work and what doesn’t is by asking those who got happily divorced how they did it. By pulling from their experiences, you can see what you might want to start doing differently in your divorce. They can also give you some advice as to how to keep that happy relationship post-divorce.
In the end, everyone will have a slightly different version of what happily divorced means. Take some time to think about what kind of role you want your partner to have in your life after your divorce. Use this as the base for constructing your new, happily divorced relationship with your partner.