One of the hardest parts of divorcing is letting your children know. However, one thing which many parents struggle with are the children reactions to their divorce. While there’s a lot of different ways in which your child could respond to the news, but some tend to be more common than others…
Children Reactions: What You Should Expect
Sadness
Sadness is probably the most common of the children reactions. Of course, this makes sense. It’s hard for them to hear the family they know will no longer be the same. Many times, they’ll let these feelings out through tears or just looking sad. However, they may also try and isolate themselves from you and others.
A common mistake parents make when they get this response is by giving their kids too much space. However, your child probably has never felt emotions this strongly before. Therefore, they need you to let them know it’s okay to feel this way, and to express themselves. This will help them start to adjust in a healthier manner.
Fear
Fear is another children reaction you might need to expect. Many kids get worried or anxious about what’s going to happen to them due to the divorce. They may worry about moving, changes in school, not seeing their other parent, etc. As a result, it’s important to help put these fears to rest.
Ask them to describe to you what exactly they’re afraid of. That way, you get a good idea of what’s bothering them the most. Then, you and your ex should do your best to put those fears to rest. When the both of you can do that, your children will begin to worry less and less.
Guilt
Guilt is one of those children reaction which catches parents off-guard. However, it is a real and quite common reaction. Kids can feel like things they’ve done have somehow lead to your divorce. It could be something like them fighting with you, to something as innocent as taking extra cookies. Either way, they somehow feel like they’re partially responsible.
That’s why you need to make sure they know they didn’t do anything to cause the divorce. Of course, that doesn’t mean you or your ex should start playing the blame game. Instead, just explain to them in a way they’ll understand that the divorce isn’t their fault.