One of the most common reasons couples end up in counseling is because of communication issues. Therefore, you might be interested in ways to work on how you and your spouse talk to one another. A useful technique which can help is known as the Imago dialogue method. Using this can help you talk to each other much easier…
Imago Dialogue: Improve Your Communication
Mirroring
The first part of the Imago dialogue system is mirroring. When starting a dialogue, one person (the sender) should start by talking to the other (the receiver). The sender should focus on making it clear how they feel to the receiver, such as by saying “I feel…” or “I need…” It’s also important for them to avoid placing blame on the receiver, and rather just describe how they feel instead.
Once the sender has finished talking, it’s time for the receiver to start mirroring. They can do this by relaying back what the sender has told them, using a lead sentence like “let me see if I understand you…” Mirroring helps both the receiver better understand what the sender is saying, and the sender see the receiver is paying attention. If there’s been any misunderstanding, then you can be handle it easily and quickly before the conversation continues.
Validation
The next part of the Imago system is validation. Basically, this is reinforcing that what the sender has told the receiver is valid. It’s not always easy for one partner to open up to another. While they may appear confident, they might worry deep down about how the receiver will respond.
Therefore, it’s helpful to let the sender know what they’re saying isn’t “crazy.” Even if you don’t agree with them, it’s important to see how they might feel the way they do. Letting them know what they’re saying can further encourage them to open up.
Empathy
Finally, the last part of the Imago system is empathy. Here, the receiver just has to think about the emotions the sender feels. Do these issues make them angry, sad, lonely, etc? Let the sender know you see how they feel and why, and empathize with them. Once you’ve gone through the whole process, you and your partner can then switch roles and start from the beginning with a better understanding of each other.