When it comes to co-parenting, many people might think ‘“let’s just get them to 18, and then we won’t have to see each other.” Many divorcees don’t consider that co-parenting is something that you’ll have to do for the rest of your life. But, adult co-parenting is still something you’ll have to take into consideration. You have a child, the both of you do. That means their milestones will still be shared amongst the both of you. From graduations, to weddings, to your grandchildren… You two, as parents, have an entire life to bear witness to.
Adult Co-Parenting: Parenting Past Adolescence
When your children reach adulthood, it’s still important that you make an effort to keep conflict out of their lives. After all, they’re reaching the point of starting a family, starting a love life of their own… and, ultimately, becoming independent. While these milestones are ones that they will mostly reach on their own, you two will be part of it. So, learning how to co-parent properly is still something you have to take into consideration.
Let go of jealousy and control
As your children reach adulthood, and build their own lives— they will begin to divide up their time in different ways. Maybe you don’t see them as often, and that can spark jealousy— especially if they are spending time with the other parent. But, it’s important that you not push them, not project your jealousy onto them, and enjoy the time that you do have. Chances are, making the time enjoyable— will increase your seeing them.
If you and the co-parent do not get along well, make a schedule
While it might feel juvenile, if you need to, put together a schedule to avoid each other when possible. Obviously, you will both be there for the big moments— such as weddings and births. However, grandkids soccer games? You can alternate. Do what you have to do, together, to be good co-parents to your adult children. Ultimately, they need your cooperation even more than they did when they were children. Now, they have much more to worry about.
Adult co-parenting might feel like something you can brush to the wayside, but it can make a big difference for every part of the family. Not to mention, holidays might be a little less hostile. We all want to reach a point where our children become our friends. By co-parenting healthfully, you might reach that point just a little it quicker. And who knows, you and your ex might find a way to be friends too…