When it comes to divorce, you may think it has to be the result of huge problems in your marriage. Maybe your spouse has cheated, maybe you’re facing financial problems, or maybe you fight too much. But in many cases, what may seem like little issues in your relationship can also lead to a break up. So here’s a few “small problems” that can actually become divorce predictors.
Divorce Predictors
Criticism
One of the most common divorce predictors is when criticism creeps into your relationship. When you begin criticizing your partner, it puts the focus on your partner’s character and personality. Now, instead of disliking your spouse’s behavior, you actually begin disliking your spouse. You see everything they do as something that is wrong with them personally.
Contempt
When criticism begins to set in, it can lead to contempt which quickly becomes one of the divorce predictors. In the case of contempt, you begin to wrestle with feelings of hate. You can’t stand your partner– the way they think, talk, act, or even look. And you begin to express it with your words that aren’t just critical. You say them hoping they wound your spouse’s feelings and self-esteem.
Defensiveness
After criticism and contempt come around, you can expect defensiveness to become one of the divorce predictors. Whether your spouse shares those feelings of contempt and criticism towards you, they will most likely become defensive about they way you’re treating them. They may begin to respond harshly or lash out. This only helps to create a cycle in which you then begin to dislike them more.
Stonewalling
Stonewalling can also be one of the common divorce predictors and may come in response to some of the others listed above. In short, this is the practice of creating distance from your partner. At this point, you begin to shut one another out and avoid not just spending time together, but interacting with each other at all.
In the case of these divorce predictors, the problem doesn’t have to stem from one huge issue. There doesn’t have to be one blow out fight or even one common argument. Even these “small” issues can be a sign that your marriage is on the rocks. So pay attention to these subtle divorce predictors in your relationship.