If you decide to remarry, you might be concerned about things ending up in divorce again. This can have you reacting very strongly to things which remind you of the issues of your last marriage. Coping with these emotional triggers doesn’t have to be impossible for you. Rather, there are ways to handle and move on from them…
Emotional Triggers: Cope After Remarrying
Understand a trigger
In order to cope with emotional triggers, it helps to know what they are. Basically, they can be anything which “triggers” an emotional reaction, hence the name. Usually, these triggers bring up bad memories or emotions, and in turn, make people upset, angry, or afraid. Many triggers also tend to activate a person’s fight-or-flight reflex.
Things like certain objects, smells, or phrases can all trigger somebody. However, the most common triggers in a second marriage are situational. Your partner might act in a specific way or say something which reminds you too much of your ex and the negatives of your past marriage. This can then cause you to react very strongly.
Getting calm
Coping with emotional triggers is all about not letting them get out of control. Instead, you’ll want to work on calming yourself when you sense you’re getting triggered by something. To do this, remove your focus away from what’s causing you to be upset, Instead, channel that energy into thinking more positively.
Doing some breathing exercises at the same time also helps. Focus on breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth while counting to ten. At the same time, envision yourself relaxing a nice, calming place. This will all help you refocus and become calmer once more.
Analyze the trigger
Once you’ve relaxed, try to focus on understanding your emotional triggers. Ask yourself what exactly caused you to react like you did, and why. By doing this, you start to gain some control over your triggers by seeing where they come from.
When you understand what triggers you, you’ll start to understand what baggage from your last marriage you’re still clinging to. Processing this baggage is important for not allowing issues of the past to disrupt your new marriage. Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about these triggers, why they bother you, and what you can both do to make things better.