Divorce can have a pretty rough impact on your child. Even when breaking the news to them, their reactions can be pretty varied. Therefore, it’s important to practice positive child communication. Doing so will help you both understand each other a little bit better…
Positive Child Communication
Be willing to talk
One mistake parents make is thinking that their children will come to them first. After all, if they want to talk, then they’ll let you know, right? The truth is many kids like to clam up and withdrawal themselves during this time. As a result, positive child communication begins with you taking the initiative.
Of course, make sure you keep it age appropriate. They don’t need to know every detail about why you’re divorce. Instead, maybe let them know that you feel a bit sad too, but know that everything will be okay. Showing your kids how you feel can encourage them to share how they feel as well.
Make sure to listen
Talking is just one part of positive child communication. Listening to what your kids have to say is also important too. The problem for many parents is that when they hear something is bothering their kids, they want to fix it. However, feelings like this can’t be “fixed” per se.
Instead, what your child might just need is some validation. They may have never really felt this way about something before, and don’t know if it’s okay. That’s why you have to let them know it’s okay to feel sad or upset, and that it’s good they’re telling you so. Once they feel like it’s okay, they’ll start to share more and begin to work out those feelings.
Acting happy isn’t feeling happy
Some parents think that they’re practicing good child communication if their kids appear to be happy. However, this could also be a bit of a deception. Sometimes, kids think that if they were to tell their parents how they truly felt, it would make things worse. So, instead of acting how they feel, they do their best to act happy.
Of course, this isn’t good for them or you. That’s why it’s important to let your child know they can be honest with you about how they feel. Doing so will take a big burden off their backs and help you communicate more effectively.