Being a parent is already a hard enough job. Becoming a child’s stepparent after a divorce has that same difficulty with its own added challenges. Supportive step-parenting means understanding what different parenting considerations you’ll have to make as a stepparent…
Supportive Step-Parenting
Add, don’t replace
The role of a stepparent is a hard one for children to understand. This can lead to stepparents trying to overcompensate to be seen as another “parent” by them. However, supportive step-parenting means you know what that role truly entails.
You shouldn’t try to be a “replacement” for their other parent. Instead, you’re more of a supplement for them. It can take a while for them to feel “normal” with their new family structure after a divorce, so you have to be patient yet supportive.
Allow them to process their emotions
The transition from divorce to the new family life is especially hard on children. They can feel a lot of emotions that they don’t know how to properly handle. This can lead to them taking out their emotions out on you instead.
It isn’t uncommon for your stepchild to be moody around you, or say things about how they wish their “real mom/dad” were around. However, it’s not because of anything you’ve done wrong. It’s just them being reminded that things are different. It’ll take time for them to adjust, so it’s important to give them that space to do so.
Be positive and caring
Your new stepchild needs a lot of support during this time. Part of supportive step-parenting is showing them that you can give them some of that support. However, you shouldn’t go too far past that into discipline.
Let your spouse handle the discipline side of things for the time being. For now, you need to focused on showing your stepchild that you’re not all that bad. Eventually, they’ll start to come around.
Being a supportive stepparent can feel like a thankless task. However, your stepchild will soon realize just how important the role you play is. Continuing to offer that right kind of support will help them and you begin to feel like a family.