When it comes to what’s best for your kids, it seems hard to believe that divorce may be the answer. But living with parents who are constantly at odds can be harmful to a child’s upbringing. So which is better for your child–living with fighting parents or divorced parents?

Fighting Parents:Is Divorce Best For The Child When You Can’t Get Along With Your Spouse

First of all, both of these situations have their pros and cons. Going through a divorce and watching their parents split up will certainly have an impact on your child. So before making any major decisions, you do want to weight out both options. With that said, here are some questions to ask yourself if you and your spouse are constantly at war.

Do We Place Our Child In the Middle Of Our Fights? 

One harmful habit of fighting parents is that your child feels that they are in the middle of your mess. In most cases, the child knows you are having a serious disagreement. So then, they feel the need to pick a side. One way or another, they feel they must side with either you or your spouse. At times, they may feel the need to lift your spirits and comfort you after an argument. At other times, they may feel that they need to mediate. In that case, they may run between the both of you, trying to make peace or create communication.

Does Your Child Ever Feel At Peace In Your Home? 

In most cases, fighting parents can make a home feel uncomfortable. Because of the tension, your kids can never quite feel at ease. Even when you feel like you are hiding it, many children are able to pick up on the tension between their parents. Without ever feeling at peace, the home may become a place that your children don’t want to be. They may not feel it’s not a safe place or a place that offers comfort from the outside world.

Are You Seeing Your Habits In Your Child? 

In many cases when kids see their fighting parents, they pick up those habits. For instance, they may begin arguing with you or speaking the way that they see you talk to your spouse. In some cases, it can translate to acting out at school. When this happens, they may begin talking back to teachers, getting in fights, or speaking harshly to siblings. A lot of times, kids will mirror what they see. So if you notice that your child is becoming angry or having behavior issues, it could be a picture of what they see at home.