Getting a divorce from a narcissist can already be challenging. However, you might still have to interact with them after the divorce is over. Talking to a narcissistic ex can be just as draining, but there are ways for you to make it a bit easier. Using these techniques can help you minimize the stress these interactions can bring…
Narcissistic Ex: How To Communicate
Don’t take the bait
One of the key part of communicating with a narcissistic ex is to not engage with their comments. When you interact with them, they might make digs at you. However, it’s important to not take the bait. Remember, their just mainly trying to get a reaction out of you.
Instead, focus on the goal at hand. If they get off-topic, repeat your question and wait for them to answer. If they refuse to answer, then disengage. To them, getting you to react is a win for them. Not only will you deprive them of that, but you’ll also look much better in the eyes of mediators and others.
Avoid the manipulation
Another problem with talking to a narcissistic ex is dealing with their manipulation. A narcissist will do just about anything to get the upper hand. This might include them asking you things like “what happened to us” or “could we give it another chance”? If they start saying things like this, then that’s a clear-cut sign they might be trying to manipulate you.
When this kind of talk happens, don’t let it fool you. More often than not, a narcissist won’t change. They’re just trying to get the upper hand and prey on your emotional vulnerabilities. Instead, ignore these attempts and stay focused on what you have to do instead.
Keep your boundaries strong
A narcissistic ex hates nothing more than someone who has boundaries. Boundaries prevent them from being as manipulative as they’d want to be. As a result, they’ll want to always tear down your boundaries at every opportunity. That’s why you’ll want to work on keeping those boundaries as strong as possible.
Keep your boundaries firm when your ex tries to push on them. Don’t allow for them to try and emotionally manipulate you either. For example, they might constantly ask you to watch the kids when they know you have plans. This is them trying to break your boundaries down. It might be difficult, but keep those boundaries firm and let them know that’s not what you agreed on.