Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out how you and your ex should act once the divorce is over. After all, you may still need to talk to them, especially if you have kids. That’s why it’s important to set up good post-divorce boundaries. These boundaries can make things easier for you and your ex…
Post-Divorce Boundaries
Communicate properly
Some of the most common post-divorce boundaries are related to communication. With a divorce, you probably won’t be talking to your ex like you used to. This is especially true if things didn’t end all too pleasantly. However, you still should set up some basic boundaries with one another.
For instance, if you don’t want to physically see them, then stick to talking through text, phone calls, or emails. It also helps to keep things brief and to-the-point, but also be respectful. Avoid asking them prying questions or being rude. If you can do that for them, odds are they can do the same for you.
Let them live
Like with any sort of breakup, there’s sometimes a desire to see what your ex is up to. You might be curious about how they’re doing, or if they’ve begun to date again. Still, this kind of behavior should be avoided, and it’s another post-divorce boundary you should establish.
After your divorce, the fact is that what your ex does shouldn’t be of your concern. Therefore, don’t try and ask them about if they’re dating or things like that. That also means you shouldn’t go on social media and try to check either. Once you can do that, then you can also start to move on yourself.
Keep the kids neutral
Another important post-divorce boundary to consider are how your kids are. Odds are that the divorce has left them feeling a bit uneasy. During this time, they’ll need support from both of their parents. Due to this, you need to respect that both you and your ex are important to them.
It’s never a good idea to get the kids involved in issues that are between you and your ex. Trying to use your kids as messengers will just hurt them in the process. This is also true for trying to turn them against their other parent. Rather, it’s important they feel both of their parents are their for them.