Divorce stirs up a lot of different emotions, and anger does tend to be one of the most common. When you have to deal with an angry ex, your divorce can become significantly more complicated. However, there are still ways to handle this anger and work towards a divorce solution…
Angry Ex: How To Handle Them
A lot of times, divorce anger stems from other emotions. Usually, it’s feelings of sadness or grief which tend to result in anger. Your angry ex might just be upset over the fact that your marriage didn’t work out, and isn’t angry at you, but rather the unfortunate outcome instead.
That’s why it’s important to try and be empathetic when talking to your spouse. They may be nasty or mean to you, but keep in mind why they’re acting like that. Instead of responding with your own anger, stay calm and let them know you understand how they feel, and maybe that you’re a bit sad as well. Given enough time, and they might begin to turn around.
Proper communication is not just important for dealing with an angry ex, but for any kind of divorce. Good communication allow for you and your ex to remain on the same page and work together on a settlement. However, anger can cause that communication to potentially break down.
To help keep that communication in check, try to keep your interactions focused and to-the-point. Have a clear topic or request in mind, and keep your conversation centered around that. If your ex is being rude or indirect, it’s better to politely end your conversation and try again some other time. Eventually, your ex might realize how important good communication is.
Define your boundaries
Boundaries are important for dealing with an angry ex. Your boundaries are sort-of your “limit” for what you’re willing to talk about and how you want to talk about it. If your ex crosses those boundaries because of their anger, then you’ll know it’s time to disengage.
For example, say you want to talk about a custody agreement. Your boundary is anything outside of that, such as with your personal life. If your ex keeps poking or asking about that, let them know what your boundaries are. If they still don’t respect them, take a similar approach with communication: politely let them know that you either talk about the topic at hand, or try again some other time.