After your divorce is over, you can still be feeling the emotional challenges from it. This divorce baggage can be difficult to deal with, and impact your future relationships. However, there are ways for you to unload this baggage in a healthy and productive manner…
Divorce Baggage: Letting It Go
Use it to learn
One good way to let go of divorce baggage is to use it as a learning tool. Many divorced people will get caught up in repeating thoughts. These can be about mistakes they think they made, what they think they should’ve done differently, etc. However, this way of thinking isn’t helpful for letting that baggage go.
Instead, try to reflect on the past in a more positive way. Use it as a tool to learn from instead of one to beat yourself up with. Not only can you learn what you can do different in the future, you can also learn some of the warning signs you didn’t see before. That way, you’ll be better equipped to avoid this kind of situation in the future.
Let yourself feel sad
Even if you try not to feel sad, that divorce baggage can still linger without you realizing it. In fact, it’ll linger for longer if you never properly confront it. That’s why it’s not bad to let yourself feel sad about your divorce.
It can be quite cathartic to let all those emotions out. It’ll also be better for you in the long run. If you bottle those emotions up, not only will your baggage remain, but they’ll get worse over time. Instead, it’s better to work through those emotions now, even if you feel like you don’t want to. Your future self will thank you for it!
Forget the “idea” of your ex
This problem is common in all kinds of break-ups, but it’s especially prevalent with divorce. Many people begin creating an “idea” of their ex in their heads. This “idea” tends to overemphasize the positive traits while overlooking the negative ones. This kind of divorce baggage can be harmful, however, as it can harm your future relationships going forward.
A better idea is to realistically look at who your ex was in your relationship, and realize why things didn’t work out. With that in mind, you’ll be able to understand why divorce was the best choice for the both of you. Also, you’ll be able to enter new relationships and avoid comparing a new partner to this fake “idea” you’ve created.